I will never forget the day I met my father-in-law, Bud. I had just met Leigh the evening before and Leigh had invited me over to swim. After swimming, Leigh, his sister Valerie and I went up to the apartment for a cold drink. It was soon after that Bud came home from work, and there I was: a skinny, short, soaking wet 17-year-old in a towel and bathing suit! Some first impression.

Leigh and I grew very close, and as a result, we spent a lot of time together, usually at the apartment. Since I didn't want to seem like an imposition, I tried to do little things around the place, like doing dishes or cooking supper. The three of us became good friends together. Bud and I discovered a mutual affection for music and collecting records, and that became a strong rope that tied he and I together. We would often "swap" albums, making cassettes for each other, and notifying each other when we got something new. We had almost the same taste in music - just about everything!

Relations with my own family were starting to become difficult, for reasons that are no longer important, or even remembered. One evening, in a storm of hard words and angry feelings, I left home. I went to Leigh for help, and we both went to see Bud. He helped us organize my move, and was there for me.

Soon after that, Leigh and I got married. We were married in Bud's apartment, and he helped us coordinate the affair with Leigh's mother, Ella May. It was a beautiful wedding, even if it was put together in three days, and over a holiday weekend! One thing touched me beyond belief: We were standing in the reception line. Bud walked up to me, gave me a hug, turned to everyone else and said, "I have another daughter!"

After the wedding, Leigh and I had trouble finding a place to live. Once again, it was Bud to the rescue! He opened his home to me, so that Leigh and I could be together. Since Leigh worked nights, Bud and I would often have dinner together, and then we'd "hang talking or watching TV. One of our favorite shows at this time was a short-lived science fiction show, titled "The Powers of Matthew Starr". It was about a teen-age alien prince, Matthew Starr, who, to be protected from the enemy planet, was sent to Earth with his Guardian (played by Louis Gossett, Jr.) to blend in with the Earthlings. The only thing that made Matthew different was that he had special powers that he used to defeat the enemy, which he had to do every week. Unfortunately, he had developed a relationship with an Earth girl, named Pam, and every week Matthew had to come up with a reason to break a date without letting Pam know that it was to defeat evil aliens. So every week Bud and I would sit back to watch, and Bud would say, "OK, let's see how he dumps Pam THIS week!"

Soon afterwards, Leigh and I found a place of our own, so we took our cat, Tiki, and moved out. We had gotten Tiki a few years before, and Tiki lived with Leigh and Bud until this time. Tiki and Bud got along famously, and we felt a little bad about separating them. We always "threatened" Bud that we would get him another cat, but for a long time, he declined. Finally, he told us that we could get him a cat if we also picked up all of the associated accessories that a cat needs. We had Caesar, a Tiki-look-alike, shipped to us from Kansas City ~ Bud's hometown!

We would still drop by and visit frequently ~sometimes both of us, sometimes only one of us (depending on work schedules). Leigh and Bud worked together on videotapes. The three of us would go shopping together, or watch movies, or just chat.

It was a painful time when Bud announced that he was moving to South Carolina. The day before he left he took us out for lunch, and we talked and talked. We didn't say "goodbye" - instead, we said our usual "See you later!"

We did stay in touch, not nearly as often as we would have liked to. We spent hours on the phone. We talked about important things (like work or family updates), interesting things (like Bud's tracing his genealogy), and inconsequential things (TV shows, movies and, of course, music). We knew that his health was not exactly the best, but it was still a shock when Valerie called to say that he was failing, and that the doctor only gave him a few more months to live.

We managed to go down to see him. I will never forget the look on his face when he woke up and saw that we were there. We spent every spare moment we could with him, both of us feeling like it just wasn't enough. The day we had to leave was so hard. The three of us held hands, cried, and told each other how we felt. I consider myself so lucky that I not only knew how he felt about me, but that I had the opportunity to tell him how much he meant to me.

I consider myself fortunate, if not blessed, to have known Bud, and to have been considered a part of his family, and his friend.

This page was last updated

Sunday, July 31, 2005

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